| // Copyright (C) 2001-2003, International Business Machines |
| // Corporation and others. All Rights Reserved. |
| // |
| // root.txt |
| // |
| // root resource file for ufortune. |
| // This data will be used as a fall-back if no other resource bundle |
| // matches the requested locale. |
| // |
| |
| // ufortune has three resources |
| // usage - the usage string to display if there's a command line error |
| // or in response to -? or --help. |
| // optionMessage - the error text to display in response to an unrecognized |
| // option on the command line. |
| // fortunes - An array of strings, the fortune messages. |
| // |
| |
| root { |
| |
| usage {"usage: ufortune [-v] [-l locale]"} |
| optionMessage {"unrecognized command line option:"} |
| |
| |
| // |
| // These fortune messages are from BSD fortune data files. |
| |
| fortunes { |
| |
| |
| "186,282 miles per second: |
| |
| It isn't just a good idea, it's the law!", |
| |
| "2180, U.S. History question: |
| What 20th Century U.S. President was almost impeached and what |
| office did he later hold?", |
| |
| "$3,000,000", |
| |
| "355/113 -- Not the famous irrational number PI, but an incredible |
| simulation!\"", |
| |
| "3 syncs represent the trinity - init, the child and the eternal zombie |
| process. In doing 3, you're paying homage to each and I think such |
| traditions are important in this shallow, mercurial business we find |
| ourselves in. |
| -- Jordan K. Hubbard", |
| |
| "43rd Law of Computing: |
| Anything that can go wr |
| fortune: Segmentation violation -- Core dumped", |
| |
| "7:30, Channel 5: The Bionic Dog (Action/Adventure) |
| The Bionic Dog drinks too much and kicks over the National |
| Redwood Forest.", |
| |
| "7:30, Channel 5: The Bionic Dog (Action/Adventure) |
| The Bionic Dog gets a hormonal short-circuit and violates the |
| Mann Act with an interstate Greyhound bus.", |
| |
| "99 blocks of crud on the disk, |
| 99 blocks of crud! |
| You patch a bug, and dump it again: |
| 100 blocks of crud on the disk! |
| |
| 100 blocks of crud on the disk, |
| 100 blocks of crud! |
| You patch a bug, and dump it again: |
| 101 blocks of crud on the disk! ...", |
| |
| "A \"No\" uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a |
| \"Yes\" merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble. |
| -- Mahatma Ghandi", |
| |
| "A [golf] ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have hit the tree. |
| Hitting a tree is simply bad luck and has no place in a scientific |
| game. The player should estimate the distance the ball would have |
| traveled if it had not hit the tree and play the ball from there, |
| preferably atop a nice firm tuft of grass. |
| -- Donald A. Metz", |
| |
| "A [golf] ball sliced or hooked into the rough shall be lifted and |
| placed in the fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or |
| rolled into the rough. Such veering right or left frequently results |
| from friction between the face of the club and the cover of the ball |
| and the player should not be penalized for the erratic behavior of the |
| ball resulting from such uncontrollable physical |
| phenomena. |
| -- Donald A. Metz", |
| |
| "A baby is an alimentary canal with a loud voice at one end and no |
| responsibility at the other.", |
| |
| "A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. |
| -- Carl Sandburg", |
| |
| "A bachelor is a selfish, undeserving guy who has cheated some woman out |
| of a divorce. |
| -- Don Quinn", |
| |
| "A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining |
| and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. |
| -- Mark Twain", |
| |
| "A billion here, a couple of billion there -- first thing you know it |
| adds up to be real money. |
| -- Senator Everett McKinley Dirksen", |
| |
| "A bird in the bush usually has a friend in there with him.", |
| |
| "A bird in the hand is worth what it will bring.", |
| |
| "A bird in the hand makes it awfully hard to blow your nose.", |
| |
| "... A booming voice says, \"Wrong, cretin!\", and you notice that you |
| have turned into a pile of dust.", |
| |
| "A bore is someone who persists in holding his own views after we have |
| enlightened him with ours.", |
| |
| "A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well |
| as afterward.", |
| |
| "A candidate is a person who gets money from the rich and votes from the |
| poor to protect them from each other.", |
| |
| "A celebrity is a person who is known for his well-knownness.", |
| |
| "A child can go only so far in life without potty training. It is not |
| mere coincidence that six of the last seven presidents were potty |
| trained, not to mention nearly half of the nation's state legislators. |
| -- Dave Barry", |
| |
| "A child of five could understand this! Fetch me a child of five.", |
| |
| "A chubby man with a white beard and a red suit will approach you soon. |
| Avoid him. He's a Commie.", |
| |
| "A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but |
| won't cross the street to vote in a national election. |
| -- Bill Vaughan", |
| |
| "A city is a large community where people are lonesome together |
| -- Herbert Prochnow", |
| |
| "A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody |
| wants to read. |
| -- Mark Twain", |
| |
| "A closed mouth gathers no foot.", |
| |
| "A computer, to print out a fact, |
| Will divide, multiply, and subtract. |
| But this output can be |
| No more than debris, |
| If the input was short of exact. |
| -- Gigo", |
| |
| "A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking.", |
| |
| "A CONS is an object which cares. |
| -- Bernie Greenberg.", |
| |
| "A consultant is a person who borrows your watch, tells you what time it |
| is, pockets the watch, and sends you a bill for it.", |
| |
| "A continuing flow of paper is sufficient to continue the flow of paper. |
| -- Dyer", |
| |
| "A copy of the universe is not what is required of art; one of the |
| damned things is ample. |
| -- Rebecca West", |
| |
| "A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. |
| -- Ben Franklin", |
| |
| "A crusader's wife slipped from the garrison |
| And had an affair with a Saracen. |
| She was not oversexed, |
| Or jealous or vexed, |
| She just wanted to make a comparison.", |
| |
| "A cynic is a person searching for an honest man, with a stolen |
| lantern. |
| -- Edgar A. Shoaff", |
| |
| "A day for firm decisions!!!!! Or is it?", |
| |
| "A day without sunshine is like night.", |
| |
| "A diplomat is a man who can convince his wife she'd look stout in a fur |
| coat.", |
| |
| "A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that |
| you will look forward to the trip.", |
| |
| " A disciple of another sect once came to Drescher as he was |
| eating his morning meal. \"I would like to give you this personality |
| test\", said the outsider, \"because I want you to be happy.\" |
| Drescher took the paper that was offered him and put it into |
| the toaster -- \"I wish the toaster to be happy too\".", |
| |
| "A diva who specializes in risque arias is an off-coloratura soprano ...", |
| |
| " A doctor, an architect, and a computer scientist were arguing |
| about whose profession was the oldest. In the course of their |
| arguments, they got all the way back to the Garden of Eden, whereupon |
| the doctor said, \"The medical profession is clearly the oldest, because |
| Eve was made from Adam's rib, as the story goes, and that was a simply |
| incredible surgical feat.\" " |
| } |
| } |